POW POW POW!! Those were the sounds that Anima Hatsune and Ping Ru “Piro” Yan were making in the downstairs bathroom when they were pretending to be their own superheroes Menstrual Man and Butthole Boy respectively.
“I wish Rainbow Dash was real,” Piro said because he was a brony.
“Why the fuck do you always say that?!” Anima objected.
Piro shrugged.
“Hear me out, kid,” Anima began, “Fuck Rainbow Dash! Menstrual Man and Butthole Boy are stronger than that pussy ass pony! Fact is, we’re so strong that we can defeat the evil white man and his South Korean sex slave!”
Piro looked confused as all get out.
“Here’s the evil white man right now!” Anima shouted as she pushed Piro around to see this.
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“NO!” Butthole Boy shrieked at the top of his lungs, “JOSEPH WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!” He threw a bar of soap at Jason the White Male.
Jason laughed evilly. “You really think that I believe in a God?! Ha! How preposterous!”
Menstrual Man and Butthole Boy glanced at each other and knew exactly what to do. They ran to an ivory cupboard and grab one tampon per person. Then, after a transformation set to “Fly Away” from Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, they pierced the skies with their voices.
Jason the White Male sicced his South Korean sex slave onto Butthole Boy, causing the boy to scream in agony. That meant that Menstrual Man had to face Jason one-on-one.
“Looks like it’s just you and me, Menstrual Man,” Jason the White Man said with a nasty smirk.
Menstrual Man waved her first two fingers and replied back with, “Bring it, motherfucker.”
As Jason the White Male and Menstrual Man ran towards each other, someone else’s footsteps were storming towards the very same bathroom that the battle scene was taking place in.
“Mwa-ha-ha-ha!” Jason the White Male laughed evilly, “You really think that your Asianess and mental illness and short stature can defeat a tall white heterosexual man like me?! Ha! How stupid do you think I am?!”
At that point, Menstrual Man backed into a corner. She only had two choices: throw the tampon at Jason the White Male and have him kick her ass or kick him in the balls and then beat the shit out of him. She was about to call out to Butthole Boy when she noticed someone standing right in the bathroom’s doorway.
“NO!” Jason the White Male screamed in agony, “A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN!” He inhaled with all his might before adding, “A BLACK ONE!”
“Oh, shit,” Anima thought. The girl standing in the doorway was Fern Jefferson, one of the biggest bitches in the YouChannell Home.
“What the hell are you two doing with my tampons?!” Fern inquired angrily.
Because Anima didn’t have a proper answer, she turned to Piro and called out, “Uh-oh, pipsqueak! Now you fucked up!”
“I asked what the hell are you two doing with my God damn motherfucking tampons!” Fern shouted.
Just then, Greg walked down the hallway into the bathroom where all three kids were standing. “What’s going on down here?” he asked.
“Them two motherfuckers were playing with my tampons!” Fern tattled to Greg as she pointed at Anima and Piro.
Anima and Piro blushed- well, Anima blushed. She realized that she looked like a real ass with a pair of Tamie’s panties covering half of her face.
“WHO THE FUCK STOLE MY PANTIES?!” Tamie screamed all the way from her room.
Oh fuck. Anima was really regretting the panty raid she and Piro did earlier in the day when Tamie was passed out on the couch while watching Diff’rent Stroakes.
“Give me those,” Greg said, yanking Tamie’s panties off of those crazy kids. “Now, let’s pick these tampons up. You too, Fern.”
“Me?!” Fern exclaimed, “What the hell for?! I ain’t been playing with them!”
“We have a guest coming to our house in a few minutes, so the sooner you pick these tampons up the sooner we can get out of the bathroom.”
“What guest?” Anima asked.
“You remember that meeting with Mrs. Kuroi and Shibi yesterday?” Greg replied.
Anima considered. “Yeah… so?”
“Well, we’re having a playdate with Shibi today.”
Oh, fuck. Anima completely forgot about that little playdate with Shibi. She really didn’t want to have a fucking playdate with Shibi, but apparently she didn’t have a choice because Greg was forcing her to go along with the playdate anyways.
While the group was picking up tampons, somebody knocked on the door. “I’ll get it!” Katja called out from the living room. It turned out to be Shibi and Mrs. Kuroi.
“Hello!” Mrs. Kuroi greeted from the front doorway, “Is Anima here?”
Greg jumped up. “What the?!” he thought before he quickly stuffed the rest of the tampons and said, “Okay, you three. Stuff the tampons in the cupboard and come out to the kitchen.”
Anima, Piro, and Fern hastily shoved the rest of the tampons into the cupboard and trudged their ways into the kitchen where they met Mrs. Kuroi and Shibi.
“Hey there!” Greg greeted, “Welcome to our house!” He showed the neighbors the living room. “Make yourselves comfortable.” He turned to Anima and told her to get a board game.
“We don’t have any board games,” Anima told Greg.
“Yes we do,” Greg replied back, “They’re in a supply closet in Katja’s room.” Then Greg took Anima to Katja. “Anima’s having trouble finding a board game for our playdate,” he said.
“That’s okay. I have plenty of board games in my room,” Katja replied as she took Anima by the hand and walked her towards her room, which had bare beige walls. She opened a shiny silver supply closet, and in it were perfectly appropriate board games. “Now then, do you want to play Bingo, Pictionary, or Mouse Trap?”
“That’s it?” Anima questioned.
“That’s it,” Katja answered, “So which game do you want?”
Because she wanted to get this playdate the hell over with, Anima chose Pictionary and went back to the living room. Anima, Shibi, Mrs. Kuroi, Piro, Fern, and Greg played Pictionary until Tamie and Katja announced that it was lunch time.
“What are we having?” Anima called out.
“Steamed rice!” Tamie called back.
Oh. Oh, okay then. Anima thought that steamed rice was okay. It wasn’t her favorite like watermelon was, but she could eat it without choking. Mrs. Kuroi and Shibi, on the other hand, liked steamed rice, and they were pretty happy for the consideration.
In fact, all the YouChannell occupants had to eat lunch with the Kurois, but everyone stayed the hell away from them except for three girls.
Faustine Louis sat near the Kurois because unlike the lot of them, she wasn’t afraid of her neighbors.
Tessa Wilkinson sat next to the Kurois because she was new to the house and wanted to make a good impression on her neighbors.
Ami Wilkinson (born as Amy) sat near the Kurois because… okay, well she didn’t exactly sit next to the Kurois. She sat right beside her big sister Tessa because she was also new to the house and wanted to be near someone familiar.
“Thank you for the food!” Mrs. Kuroi exclaimed as soon as she got her steamed rice.
Tessa held out her hand to Mrs. Kuroi and greeted, “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Kuroi.”
“Nice to meet you, too!” Mrs. Kuroi replied back. She stood up and bowed, bumping into Tessa’s hand.
“I’m sorry!” Tessa exclaimed, “Are you okay?”
“Oh yes, I’m fine,” Mrs. Kuroi answered, rubbing her head, “You know, I’ve been in America for almost twenty-five years, and I still get confused about the customs here.”
Tessa chuckled. “I know what you mean!” she replied, being from New Zealand.
Faustine nodded because she was from France. “The United States has a weird mish-mash culture from centuries of immigration and forced assimilation.”
Shibi was clearly confused. In fact, she was so confused that she got out of her chair and walked to the downstairs bathroom. Meanwhile, Anima was picking at her steamed rice because she discovered that she wasn’t really hungry.
“Anima,” Greg whispered to her, “Are you okay?”
Well yeah, Anima was okay, but she just wasn’t hungry because she had watched Shibi eat her steamed rice with her bare finger one grain at a time. It was enough seeing Piro eat his food with bare hands one at a time; she didn’t need to see Shibi eating the same way.
“Mrs. Kuroi, I have a question,” Anima finally announced.
Mrs. Kuroi laid down her spoon. “Yes, Anima?”
“Do you always let Shibi eat with her hands?”
Mrs. Kuroi pushed her chair back. “Excuse me,” she said, slowly walking towards the downstairs bathroom.
Katja laid down her spoon. “Anima, that was a very rude thing to say to Mrs. Kuroi,” she said.
“Yeah, Anima,” Ami added like a bitch, “You can’t just judge people by the way they eat, especially if they’re disabled!”
“Oh shut up, asshole!” Anima told the little asshole.
Ami was about to fight Anima, but Greg interrupted her thoughts by telling Anima to go to the bathroom and apologize to Mrs. Kuroi and Shibi.
“What the fuck for?!” Anima objected.
“Because you were the one who asked that question in the fist place,” Faustine explained.
Anima huffed and rolled her eyes.
“Anima,” Katja began in a warning tone, “Go to the bathroom and apologize to Mrs. Kuroi right now.”
“Alright, damn! Shit!” Anima pushed herself out of her chair and stormed to the downstairs bathroom door. “Mrs. Kuroi,” she said, knocking on the door, “Are you in there?”
Mrs. Kuroi opened the door and wondered what Anima wanted.
“I’m eh… I’m sorry for eh… asking why Shibi ate food with her hands.” Those were the hardest words Anima had ever said mainly because she still didn’t think that her question was really all that rude.
At first, Mrs. Kuroi looked confused, and Anima wondered whether she should reword her apology or just forget the whole thing. Then Mrs. Kuroi surprised Anima by saying, “I don’t think you were very rude at all.”
Anima was taken aback. “Huh?!”
“I don’t think you were very rude at all.”
“Wait… why not?”
“So many people asked that same question that I just stopped paying attention.”
“Then-then-then why’d you get up as soon as I asked that?”
“Oh, I just needed to touch up on my makeup.”
Wow. Mrs. Kuroi was even weirder and more mysterious than Shibi Kuroi herself. Speaking of Shibi, she walked out of the bathroom and announced, “I pooped!”
“Shibi, you shouldn’t announce that in front of company,” Mrs. Kuroi whispered.
Shibi looked confused as to why she shouldn’t tell her mother that she pooped. “Can we play kickball soon?”
Both Anima and Mrs. Kuroi wondered just what the hell kind of question that was. Then Shibi ran around the house shouting-
Shibi ran out of the house with Mrs. Kuroi following her.
“Mrs. Kuroi, don’t you want anything else?” Greg asked, chasing the old short lady.
“No, not right now! Thank you though!” Mrs. Kuroi breathlessly answered. As soon as the Kurois ran out of the door, Greg silently closed it.
“What the fuck was that?” Fern questioned.
Anima, along with everyone else, too wondered what the fuck.
“Let’s play kickball!” Piro exclaimed, perfectly imitating Shibi.
Having enough, Anima slumped towards her room. Even though she had a feeling that she would have to deal with her again, she hoped to God that she never ever saw Shiori “Shibi” Kuroi ever again.
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