First period had just ended at Nach Cuma Middle School, and every student was outside for Courtyard Break. Courtyard Break was a rare occurrence at the middle school, only happening once or twice a year, usually during the ending of a semester, maybe once a week during state testing week after the actual tests. Students could buy snacks and drinks for a dollar or two and chat up with their friends for a while until the second-period bell rings.
“Hey, have you guys seen some moving vans at that empty house?” Amanda asked as she, Lidiya, Kishi, and Anima were enjoying their sweet, sweet (temporary) freedom.
“The one across the street from us?” Kishi said.
Amanda nodded. “I saw some moving vans when I was taking Leila to the playground the other day.” Leila was Amanda’s little sister.
“Wow, really?” Kishi gushed, “I hope it’s a girl our age!”
Lidiya rolled her eyes and said, “It’s pretty unlikely that a girl our age is gonna move in across the street from us and be our friend at the same time.”
While Lidiya, Kishi, and Amanda were arguing about the probability of a girl their age moving into the same neighborhood as them and being their friend, Anima was too busy paying attention to what Violet Blume, Kyla Wong, Avery Watson, and McKenna Suzuki were laughing about. They were hunched over, their shoulders shaking up and down in laughter… mean laughter. What were they laughing about?
What was so fucking funny?
“Hey, Anima,” Kishi interrupted Anima’s thoughts, “Are you okay?”
Anima snapped out of whatever it was that was bothering her. “Wha- oh. Oh, yeah… yeah, I’m fine.”
“What were you so focused on?” Lidiya asked.
Anima shrugged. She didn’t want to look like an insecure asshole in front of her friends, and she especially didn’t want them involved with whatever Kyla, Avery, Violet, and McKenna were laughing about.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Kishi asked.
“I said I’m fine!” Anima snapped. She cleared her throat and repeated in a smaller, quieter voice, “I said I’m fine.”
Kishi, Lidiya, and Amanda all stared at her, not really believing a single word she had said. Then they went back to their conversation about the new neighbor moving into the neighborhood, leaving Anima all alone with her thoughts. She wished she had someone to talk to about her deep, personal secrets. Someone with brown hair, pale skin, brown eyes…
On second thought, maybe not…
…
Anima was still worrying about that incidence during Courtyard Break and what exactly Avery was showing to Kyla, Violet, and McKenna while she was in ICT2 nearly at the end of the day. She stared at her website project on some shitty mid-2000s computer, trying hard not to think about what had happened. It was impossible; Avery was in her class sitting right across from her. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, McKenna Suzuki walked into the classroom and said to Avery in a whisper, “Did you see that movie trailer with Selena Gomez in it?”
“You mean the same one in Wizards of Waverly Place?” Avery answered, clearly confused as hell.
“Hold on, I gotta pull it up on YouTube,” McKenna said. She pulled up YouTube and typed in the name of the movie with Selena Gomez in it.
Avery gasped. “Oh my God, my whole childhood is ruined!” she exclaimed in a hushed whisper.
“I know, right?” McKenna said, trying hard not to laugh.
“And Vanessa Hudgens from High School Musical, too?!”
“Wait, you’re surprised about Vanessa Hudgens?”
The two girls were trying their damnedest not to laugh and not to be noticed. That lasted only a couple of moments.
“Hey, do you know where that cheerleader video is? I didn’t get it in your text,” McKenna told Avery.
Cheerleader video?! What cheerleader video?! Was it the one of… Anima doing that dumb cheer on Halloween?! Oh, God. Anima’s stomach started gurgling, and she felt as if she was going to throw up at any minute.
“Hold on, let me pull it up.” Avery typed in the name of the video McKenna wanted and clicked on it after a few minutes of browsing. The two girls started giggling like crazy. Anima almost didn’t want to look over her back, but she felt too much curiosity to not know. Turned out the video that they were originally laughing about was from 2008. Anima sighed in relief.
“Are you two just going to laugh at YouTube videos, or do you actually need something important from me?” Mrs. Mol, the ICT2 teacher, asked Avery and especially McKenna.
McKenna cleared her throat and quickly composed herself. She told the teacher that she needed some white blonde bitch named Miranda Vogel and some white brunette bitch named Savannah Vogel for dismissal.
“Thank God,” Kishi sighed after Miranda, Savannah, and McKenna left the room, “If I had to hear about Miranda and Savannah talking about their vacation to Disneyland one more time, I was going to scream!”
Disneyland? Damn. Anima had a weird feeling that those two shows that Avery and McKenna were talking had something to do with Disney. “Do you know who Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens are?”
Kishi shrugged with a confused look on her face. “Beats me.”
Anima turned back to her computer and sighed. Damn it.
...
“Ayy, bitch! You hear about that movie with Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens in it?” Marilyn asked Riley at the YouChannell Home after school.
Riley, who was too busy trying to do some World History homework, slightly shrugged and answered, “What movie?”
“Spring Breakers, nigga! Spring Breakers!” Marilyn exclaimed, “It’s got Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens in it!”
Riley looked up. “Hol’ up, you serious?”
“Hell yeah, bitch!” She showed Riley the trailer from her phone. Riley was left speechless for a moment.
“So when’s it coming out?” Riley asked.
“March 22. You wanna come see it with me when it comes out? I already got tickets for it with my daddy’s credit card!”
How the fuck-?! Damn, privileged bitch! Fuck made her think that Riley was gonna be able to watch a movie with that many bikini-clad girls in it?!
...
Tamie had just finished cooking ratatouille, buckwheat kasha, and ostkaka for dinner, and she slumped against the kitchen sink, ready to pass out at any moment. The only thing she had any energy for was to yell out, “FOOD’S READY!”
That might not have been a good idea because Ryu-jin zipped down the stairs and crashed right into Tamie… with his face right into her boobs.
“Get off, jackass!” Tamie growled, trying her damnedest to get herself up.
Ryu-jin rubbed his nose and pulled himself up to his knees. He didn’t notice that despite being such a fat fuck, Tamie had some pretty big tits. “I didn’t know fat asses like you could have some nice tits,” he told her.
That was probably the worst thing one could tell an overweight woman because Tamie kicked Ryu-jin right in the balls with the edge of her foot.
“WorldStar!” Anima shouted as she walked into the kitchen.
“Shut up, Anima!” Ryu-jin screeched, bending over to lessen the pain of being kicked in the balls.
Anima chuckled to herself and stated, “This looks just like an anime scene.”
“Shut up, Anima!” Ryu-jin screeched even louder, his body dropping to the floor.
“You shut the fuck up!” Tamie yelled at Ryu-jin. She darted her eyes up at Anima and growled, “What the fuck are you looking at?!”
“Alright, damn! Shit!” Anima said, stomping away from the pair.
Five minutes later, after Katja settled down whatever the hell was going on with Tamie and Ryu-jin, everyone was eating their dinner at the dinner table.
“Oi, anybody heard about that movie with Selena Gomez in it?” Ryan announced after swallowing his kasha.
Yes, everyone has heard about that movie with Selena Gomez in it. Nobody would shut the fuck up about it.
“Marilyn said she’s got tickets for it,” Riley said, chewing on her ratatouille.
Greg sipped his cup of coffee and asked, “What’s the name of the movie?”
“Spring Breakers,” Ryan and Riley answered at the same time.
Greg looked up the movie on Google and clicked on the trailer’s link; he quickly exited out of the internet as soon as he actually saw the trailer. “You’re not going to see that movie,” he sternly told Ryan and Riley.
Riley simply nodded and rolled her eyes; Ryan, on the other hand, balked and objected. “Why the fuck not?! It’s got Selena Gomez in it!” he exclaimed, “You know, Selena Gomez, from the Disney Channel!”
Greg was going to explain to Ryan that Selena Gomez grew up and was going to star in more raunchy and inappropriate acting roles (all while thinking about Dana Plato from Diff’rent Strokes) when Anima pushed her plate off the table and shouted-
Everyone stared at Anima like she had grown a second head or like she was on crack cocaine or some shit, and then they all laughed.
“What the fuck?! I’m being serious!” Anima yelled, clenching her fists in case she needed to punch anybody.
“Holy shit! You don’t know who Selena Gomez is?!” Ryan exclaimed, laughing his ass off.
“Well to be fair, Ryan, not everyone is attracted to teenage girls who look like they’re ten years old,” Riley mumbled under her breath.
Ryan heard that. “Yeah, used to. Now I’ve got a girlfriend who’s older than me!”
“Well, congratulations,” Riley said, “Which university is she currently attending, and what’s her major?”
Everyone who was laughing at Anima were laughing at Ryan, which made him clench his fists and blush. He was about to yell at someone or beat the shit out of someone when Anima interrupted his thoughts and screamed, “CAN SOMEONE JUST TELL WHO THE FUCK SELENA GOMEZ IS?! WHO IS SHE?! WHO IS SHE?! WHO IS SHE?!”
“Yeah, who is Selena Gomez? I’ve never heard of her,” Kishi said much more calmly.
“I’ve never heard of her either,” Siënna added.
The kitchen grew silent as Ryan tried to process the fact that three people, three girls, had no idea who the fuck Selena Gomez was.
“Ryan, can you please explain who Selena Gomez is?” Katja asked with a touch of exasperation in her voice.
Because it was understandable that Katja and Greg didn’t know who Selena Gomez was, Ryan complied. “You guys heard of Wizards of Waverly Place?” he asked the three underage girls.
Kishi and Siënna both nodded. “Oh, yeah! That show was on the Disney Channel, wasn’t it?” Kishi said.
“Yeah, it was on the Disney Channel back in the day,” Ryan replied. He looked over at Anima and asked, “You’ve heard of Disney Channel, right?”
“No,” Anima answered flatly.
“Holy shit, you’re dumb,” Ryan said quietly so that only Anima could hear him, “Okay, so, Selena Gomez was an actress on this show on the Disney Channel called Wizards of Waverly Place. Here-” He quickly pulled up a video on YouTube. “You can see her on the show’s intro.”
“You see the girl with the black hair?” Ryan elaborated, “That’s Selena Gomez.”
“Oh.” Anima stayed silent for a several minutes. “How do you know these things?”
“Probably because he used to have a crush on this girl,” Riley mumbled under her breath.
Ryan heard that. “Oi, bitch! Used to! Now I don’t anymore!”
“Oh yeah, I forgot about your adult girlfriend for a second,” Riley mumbled again, this time making her that only Ryan heard that.
Ryan was about to tell Riley exactly where she could shove her unnecessary comments when Katja told Ryan, “Okay, let’s click off of YouTube and eat our dinner.”
Ryan reluctantly exited out of YouTube (which kind of proved Riley’s point in retrospect) and slumped down into his seat. “Okay, so we all know who Selena Gomez is, right?”
Everyone nodded. “Thank you for telling me,” Kishi said.
Ryan nodded and looked over at Anima. “You know who Selena Gomez is now, right?”
Anima slowly nodded. “I don’t get it,” she blatantly stated.
Ryan sat up in his seat. “What the fuck do you mean, you don’t get it?”
“I don’t get why people like her so much,” Anima explained just as blatantly as she did the previous statement.
Riley choked on her drink and laughed when she saw Ryan blush like mad. “Oh, shit!” she chuckled.
“Look, do I have to explain everything to you again?!” Ryan inquired Anima, his hands clammy and sweaty.
Anima shrugged, drinking her glass of water and subtly enjoying the shit show she was causing at the dinner table. “Look, all I’m saying is that she’s not very good and that she looks like a ten-year-old girl.”
Ryan blushed a bright red- brighter than the color of his hair and brighter than the blood that was boiling inside of his body.
“It’s okay, girlfriend,” Riley reassured Anima, placing her hand onto the girl’s shoulder, “He’s just salty because he’s the only one who thinks Selena Gomez is sexy.” She turned to Ryan and added loudly, “Which she isn’t because she does look like a ten-year-old girl!”
Ryan’s lips opened and closed, his face, cheeks, and ears burning, his blood boiling, and his arms and hands shaking. He was about to strangle the little shit when Greg gently guided him to the Vent Room.
“Well, that was eventful,” Tamie mumbled to herself.
It sure was, and Anima still didn’t understand the appeal of Selena Gomez. But hey, at least she knew who she was.